In the past, for whatever reason, I tended to view things literally. I was intrigued by the phrase “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth”. This was my litmus test for events in my life. When I discovered and began studying A Course in Miracles, I had to dig deep to redefine the word Truth.
I am a seeker. At times in my life, I would seek relentlessly and never find anything. I was on a treadmill going really fast and getting nowhere. I always questioned and was rarely satisfied with the answers. When I started A Course in Miracles, I began the process of unraveling my thinking. I learned that my thoughts and my thoughts alone were the root of my perceptions of the world. If I could change my thoughts, I could change my world. This sounded too easy to be true .
The Course, Lesson 131, taught me that the search for truth is the only thing I need to look for to be successful. And, more importantly, this truth is a lot simpler that what I thought I would find. As a child, I felt like an alien on this planet. My favorite show was Lost in Space. I identified with the space travelers and the aliens. At last, the Course confirmed this suspicion -- I am an alien on this planet.
My searching was inevitable. But the world cannot mandate the end result I search for unless I turn it over to my ego. I found out that I am free to choose any goal that lies beyond what my ego wants me to think. The Course told me that my search was normal, and it gave me the answer to what I am searching for: HEAVEN. What I searched for was the home I left behind when I allowed my ego to take over. The ego’s goal here is impossible which always led me to another search for heaven. Simply put, I was always searching for peace of mind, for sanity, and for love. Finding it was inevitable.
The Course said early on that it is mandatory. The only choice I can make is when I take it. My ego does not establish the curriculum. My free will only lets me do it now or postpone it. It specifically tells me that “a universal theology is impossible, but a universal experience is not only possible but necessary”. The bottom-line for me is in the introduction of the book “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God .”
Today I recognize that what I desire is from where I came, which is HOME. God is my source, Heaven is my Home. My problem was that I forgot and sometimes I still forget. When I do forget, it means that it is time to forgive. Forgiveness is not found in Heaven as it is not even necessary. Here on earth, forgiveness is the necessary correction for all mistakes. When I truly forgive, I remember my Home. I remember that the world is reversed, and that the forgiven world becomes the gates of Heaven. When I forgive I have to let go of all my untruthful projections and perceptions. When I forgive myself for my mistakes, I am liberated, and guilt evaporates.
What I was really searching for all these years is evident -- "a door beneath them in your mind" (11:8) Past that door is "a light so bright and clear that you can understand all things you see" (13:2).
But this is not always easy as I have an overactive ego. It takes practices and lots of practice. The more I repeat this lesson, the more I can visualize that door in my mind. The Course teaches me that I cannot be totally committed sometimes and that a divided mind cannot communicate. This lesson provokes my thinking to remember the real Truth. The search is then over. I join my mind to Gods and I am in Heaven.
It is simple, but not always easy. 😊 The mandate to remember the Truth of Who We Are is an endless song that starts out softly, gently, and unobtrusively. Over time, as we sing along, the music becomes louder and more urgent until we become like the Sufi Whirling Dervishes, Spinning and Releasing – until we need that no more.
God is in everything I see. You are my goal, my Father. Only You.